Words that help

  • “Are you thinking about suicide?”
  • “I am glad you told me.”
  • “What is making it hardest to stay safe right now?”
  • “I can stay with you while we contact 988.”
  • “Who else helps you feel safe?”

Words to avoid

  • “You would never actually do that.”
  • “Think about what this would do to your family.”
  • “Other people have it worse.”
  • “You have so much to live for.”
  • “Promise me you will not do anything.”

Why guilt and debate can close the door

A person in crisis may already feel ashamed or burdensome. Guilt, disbelief, lectures, or arguments can make them hide what they are experiencing. Focus on safety and connection before problem-solving.

Do not promise secrecy

Say: “I will respect your privacy, but I cannot keep danger secret. I will tell only the people needed to help keep you safe, and I will stay with you through that.”

If you say the wrong thing

Repair it: “I reacted because I was scared. I am sorry. I want to listen now.” Then return to direct questions, safety, and support.