Ask directly
Asking about suicide does not put the idea into someone’s head. A direct question makes it easier to answer honestly. Stay calm and allow silence.
What to say next
Try: “Thank you for telling me. I am here with you. We are going to bring in more support.” Avoid debates, lectures, guilt, shock, or promises that everything will be fine.
Do not promise secrecy
Say: “I cannot keep this secret because your safety matters too much, but I will stay with you while we get help.” This is especially important for children and teenagers.
Help create immediate safety
If danger may be immediate, do not leave the person alone. Work with 988, emergency professionals, or a qualified clinician to reduce access to dangerous items. Do not put yourself in physical danger.
Connect—do not simply refer
Instead of handing over a phone number and leaving, make the call together, help arrange transportation, contact another trusted person, or stay until the next source of support takes over.
Follow up
Check again tomorrow, next week, and after appointments. Ask a real question: “How strong have the thoughts been since we talked?” A caring contact after the crisis can reinforce connection and help with continued care.
Take care of your own limits
Supporting someone can be frightening and exhausting. You can contact 988 for guidance, involve other trusted people, and seek support for yourself. Caring does not require becoming the person’s only lifeline.