Take the concern seriously. You do not need to be their therapist. Your job is to ask, listen, stay present, help create safety, and connect them with more support.
If there is immediate physical danger, an active attempt, or a medical emergency, contact emergency services immediately.
What you can do now
Take these steps in order.
1
Ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?”
2
If yes or uncertain, stay with them and listen without judgment.
3
Call or text 988 together. Contact emergency services for immediate physical danger or a medical emergency.
Words you can use
Copy, send, or say this:
“I care about you, and I have noticed you have not seemed like yourself. Are you thinking about suicide?”
Ask directly
Asking about suicide does not put the idea into someone’s head. A direct question makes it easier to answer honestly. Stay calm and allow silence.
Try: “Thank you for telling me. I am here with you. We are going to bring in more support.” Avoid debates, lectures, guilt, shock, or promises that everything will be fine.
Do not promise secrecy
Say: “I cannot keep this secret because your safety matters too much, but I will stay with you while we get help.” This is especially important for children and teenagers.
Help create immediate safety
If danger may be immediate, do not leave the person alone. Work with 988, emergency professionals, or a qualified clinician to reduce access to dangerous items. Do not put yourself in physical danger.
Connect—do not simply refer
Instead of handing over a phone number and leaving, make the call together, help arrange transportation, contact another trusted person, or stay until the next source of support takes over.
Follow up
Check again tomorrow, next week, and after appointments. Ask a real question: “How strong have the thoughts been since we talked?” A caring contact after the crisis can reinforce connection and help with continued care.
Supporting someone can be frightening and exhausting. You can contact 988 for guidance, involve other trusted people, and seek support for yourself. Caring does not require becoming the person’s only lifeline.
Common questions
Clear answers for the next decision.
Does asking about suicide put the idea in someone’s head?
No. Asking directly can make it easier for someone to answer honestly and begin receiving support.
What should I do if the person says yes?
Stay with them, listen without judgment, help create distance from immediate danger, and call or text 988 together. Contact emergency services for an active attempt, urgent medical need, or immediate physical danger.
Can I promise to keep suicidal thoughts secret?
No. Explain that their safety matters too much to keep danger secret, and stay with them while you involve appropriate support.
Can I contact 988 because I am worried about someone else?
Yes. The 988 Lifeline can help you think through what you are seeing and what to do next.
