Open without interrogation

Begin with observations instead of accusations: “You have stopped seeing friends and said you feel like a burden.” Pause. Let your child answer in their own words. Avoid turning the conversation into a rapid list of questions.

Ask the safety questions plainly

  • “Have you wished you were dead or could go to sleep and not wake up?”
  • “Have you been thinking about suicide?”
  • “Have you thought about how or when?”
  • “Do you have access right now to anything you could use?”
  • “Have you done anything already to hurt yourself today?”

Respond in a way that keeps honesty possible

  • “I am glad you told me.”
  • “You are not in trouble.”
  • “We will take this one step at a time.”
  • “I will not leave you alone with immediate danger.”
  • “I may need to involve another adult or professional, and I will tell you what I am doing.”

What parents often do from fear

Fear can sound like anger, disbelief, a lecture, confiscating everything without explanation, demanding a promise, or centering the parent’s pain. If that happens, repair it: “I reacted because I was scared. I am sorry. I want to listen now.”

Move from conversation to a safety handoff

  • Stay with the child when immediate risk may be present.
  • Call or text 988 together for crisis support and guidance.
  • Contact the child’s clinician, pediatrician, or local crisis pathway.
  • Use emergency services for an active attempt, urgent medical need, or immediate physical danger.
  • Ask a qualified professional how to reduce access to dangerous items and situations.

Write down the next 24 hours

  • Who stays with the child and when
  • Where the child will sleep and spend time
  • Which items or locations require safer storage or supervision
  • Who is calling the clinician or school
  • The next appointment or evaluation
  • What the child can say if thoughts return
  • Who checks in tomorrow

Protect privacy without creating secrecy

Tell only the people who need information to help keep the child safe, but do not make the child responsible for protecting the family’s image. Ask what they want teachers, relatives, or peers to know, and explain any disclosure you must make.

Continue after the crisis conversation

Ask directly again. Follow through on appointments. Help with sleep, transportation, school coordination, and the written safety plan. A calmer day does not automatically mean the underlying risk or pain has ended.